


(ghost)orchids for your hair

by KeanBlade



Category: Naruto
Genre: Multi, Sage of Six Paths' A+ parenting, Time Travel, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28624608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeanBlade/pseuds/KeanBlade
Summary: When Tobirama agreed to Kaguya's plan to send him back and stop her from being sealed he had one price; Indra would not be sentenced to this mockery of justice.
Relationships: Ootsutsuki Indra/Senju Tobirama
Comments: 28
Kudos: 275





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking into Indra for something else entirely and got...peeved shall we say, at how he was treated in cannon and thus *waves at fic*
> 
> "Everything has it's time and everything dies"  
> \- Bad Wolf/Ninth Doctor
> 
> "No. The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world, or a relationship... Everything has its time. And everything ends."  
> \- Sarah Jane Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is super unclear how the timeline of this era works in terms of what happens in what order so I'm just doing it how it's convenient for me

Tobirama stared with distant interest at his hand, looking at the vermillion sealing marks crawling under his skin, twisting and flowing over every inch of his body with the activated power. “ **Are you ready child?** ” the albino looked up at the cold face of his mother, Kaguya Ōtsutsuki’s pale eyes staring penetratingly at him, though the force of her stare slid off, unable to touch Tobirama when his heart was made of black ice; he had nothing to fear and even she couldn’t make him feel it. (To fear you had to have something to lose, Tobirama had lost everything he had to lose when the goddess bled the world dry for her fear only to find that there was nothing for her here now either; she had grown too human to love an empty world and all the chakra in the world couldn’t make her back into a pure Ōtsutsuki. She had feared losing her power only to find that when she had nothing to fear she did not stop _feeling_ , she didn’t stop hurting.) “Yes” he told her, knowing she was going to go over it again anyway; this was the first time she turned to others or trusted in another’s skill and she never would have turned to him if he hadn’t been her son after fashion (his mother filled to the brim with the goddess on the night he was conceived, a lingering fraction of her power later bleaching half of Itama’s hair), a son that was what Kaguya wanted more than anything else: _loyal_.

“My sons are plotting against me because of the God Tree, it must be destroyed. You can give me the Truth of the Heart of Humanity, give me the last piece of Perfect Understanding that the fruit of the God Tree couldn’t, the Understanding that could never be found in something celestial; give me the Truth, _make_ me see and the world will change. I will not let them bring me low, this time I will live forever as the goddess of Perfect Truth; I will be more powerful than they can imagine” her eyes were bright and feverish “I will be eternal.” Tobirama looked at her “Indra” He said quietly “remember my price, Indra will not be sentenced to this mockery of justice” Kaguya’s face went through an interesting set of expressions before settling on tired. “Yes” she murmured “Yes, he was…a good child, he was always so much braver and cleverer than his brother. Asura hid in his mother’s skirts but Indra was always so curious and unafraid, he…I… _regret,_ his fate. The God Tree will have already created Zetsu, I will already be planning for the possibility of them turning on me – it is the nature of my people to do so and I will already be working to that end. Already consumed with the fever. Stop them sealing me and give me the Truth of the Heart of Humanity and you shall have what you need to heal Indra.”

Tobirama nodded gravely and took a deep breath, touching the metal of his happuri and brushing his fingers over his fur, wishing a bit that he had his amour but willing to believe Kaguya’s word about only celestial fabric making the transition; he refused to go without his mother’s fur of his brother’s gift but otherwise he was without any weapons dressed in the pale robes Kaguya preferred (he was glad she wore such flowing robes, the fit wasn’t perfect and it made him look a bit… _rumpled_ but it could be worse and it wouldn’t make people refuse to listen to him the way showing up naked probably would have. Probably. Hashirama always said so at least). “Alright Lady Mother, let us unweave fate” Kaguya’s smile was wild and sharp and Tobirama thought that this was the first thing he would show her past-self: her the most powerful being to ever live, standing against even the march of time as no other of even her clan had, reworking destiny. “Strike first, strike fast, child of mine” she said and the sealing marks under Tobirama’s skin _burned_ , tearing him apart; ripping him from the world and life and even death and time and dragging him away from all matter, dragging him into the paces between things and throwing him **backforwardinsideout** to the hairline crack in destiny that was made the day she was sealed. 

* * *

Indra threw himself faster, desperate with Asura grim at his side, they were going to seal grandmother, going to lock her up without even being willing to pay her enough respect to _kill_ her (Indra was sure, _sure_ , that if she could, if there was even the slightest chance grandmother would come back and when she did it would be with all the wrath she could call. If they must strike her down she _had_ to die, for their descendant’s sake, and he knew his father would never do that – would think himself more righteous for his refusal). The trees stopped abruptly, the forest splitting in front of them as they burst into a shredded landscape; blasted and burned and broken with all the power of their family. For a second the brothers' run faltered, shocked and horrified at the devastation, but a roar of noise pulled them on to where the God Tree reached up into the sky; where their father and uncle faced off against ( _oh grandmother…_ ) the horror that was the Ten-Tails.

“Blessed stars” Asura breathed and Indra felt his heart drop, what could they do in the face of this power? What chance had they to stop this when – _no_ , no, Indra launched himself onward, he wouldn’t stand and watch. He would _never_ stand and watch, he was the first of his father’s sons and that meant something (ever since he was a child they had turned to him, had looked to his strength- the strength they told him was greater than theirs, the strength he had to believe was greater or the pain and confusion of being expected to stand alone would be far to great); Indra threw himself up, trying to get closer and closer and – just as he was reaching the battlefield the world turned _inside out_ , like the very matter of the world was being sucked away and oozing in all at once. It was beautiful and horrifying and twisted and – out of the split in fate there exploded a flash of shattering light and a man lunged out, driving straight at Kaguya hands glowing with something that was like light if light was reflected through history.

Ten-Tails froze in shock with the rest of them and it was the chance the man needed to slam his not-light into the thing; it _shattered_ like unfired clay, burst and flaking away as a frightened Kaguya fell back into the God Tree, looking at the man with something like terror (Indra hadn’t though she was capable of that). The man landed softly in front of her, the rest of the Ōtsutsuki leaping after to be closer as the man stepped forward and Kaguya stumbled back, less composed than Indra had ever seen. The man reached out and Indra could see his lips moving but couldn’t hear what he said as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her brow just above her third eye. Kaguya’s eyes fell closed and she gasped, a sharp shocked sound and Indra and the others reached them; Hagoromo immediately reaching to grab the strange man just as Kaguya’s eyes opened again, brimming with strange painful looking tears. The man stepped back looking at her steadily, “Oh” she whispered “oh, that is what the Tree could never give me, the Truth of the Heart of Humanity.”

The Ōtsutsuki froze as one, looking at their matriarch in shock, “I see, the Truth; pain and loss, _mortality_ , they define you much as happiness or love or immortality. It is in only in loss that the full measure of power can be felt; the greatest thing, the most terrible thing in the world is the mourning heart and everyone is great at least once in their life” she murmured, looking at the pale man, the red marks Indra was sure had been there already vanished except for a few vermillion stripes. His eyes were tired and bloody when he responded “Everything has its time. And everything ends. Even you” and to Indra’s utter shock Kaguya’ lips turned up in a brilliant, crafty smile as she looked at the bloody eyed man “Yes, an End” she responded and some kind of understanding passed between them. Kaguya smirked and stepped forward, hooking her hand into the crook of the strange man’s arm as delicately as the princes she had once been and turning to her sons and grandsons, “This is-“ she paused and the man interjected smoothly “Tobirama” “-Tobirama, the End of All Things and – hmm, my son after a fashion I suppose” it was all Indra could do not to gape like Asura and their father were, catching the red-on-red eyes when the man- _Tobirama-_ slanted a look at him through frosty lashes.

“Your…son?” Hamura asked delicately; Kaguya laughed behind her sleeve “After a fashion” she agreed. “But – you’re not from this time – you’re an _aberration_ ” ah, seems father found his voice, that took a bit longer than Indra had anticipated. One slender white brow (…he was…lovely, truly lovely) winged up Tobirama’s face and he turned a look of such withering disbelief it was all Indra could do to not laugh; he had _never_ seen anyone look at the Sage of Six Paths like that, it was… _amazing_. “…I’m _honored_ ” holy shit, was that _sarcasm?!_ “to meet you, at least I am assuming you are Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki?” the _as you didn’t introduce yourself_ went unspoken and Hagoromo actually flushed a bit but doggedly pursued his questioning “You aren’t from this time, you aren’t supposed to _exist_ here” he snapped. Tobirama clicked his tongue and Indra had the powerful feeling that he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes “I am from this time, and every time, and no time, for do souls really exist only in one singular moment or are they eternal?” Hagoromo hesitated, looking off balance “But its not your fate to be here” he protested doggedly.

“That depends on how you look at fate, and whether you see it as inviolable – and whether your beliefs stay the same of change as is convenient” there was a delicate pause “be that as it may, before I was here I was rather farther along in time than you are. However I was given good reason to see that things went…differently today and my Lady Mother-“ “Sort of mother, dear” Kaguya interjected, her eyes on Indra “-was kind enough” (“ _kind?! Grandmother?!” “Shut up Asura”_ ) “to help me accomplish a little unweaving of fate.” Tobirama gave Kaguya a little courtly nod (that. that. robe was rather. _fetching_ on him wasn’t it?) and Indra saw his father puff up to try again, Hamura sighing and rubbing at his brow and for the first time – for the first time Indra wasn’t willing to stand back, not even for the Sage of Six Paths. He stepped forward and reached out a hand, meeting those fascinating eyes “I am Indra Ōtsutsuki” his voice stumbled as he forced himself not to say he was the oldest son, that would just be…awkward now “this is my brother Asura. You already know our Honored Grandmother and my father Hagoromo of course, and this is my uncle Hamura” Tobirama reached out and slipped a graceful hand into Indra’s grasp. His handshake was firm without being overbearing and there was a rather concerning set of calluses on his white hands, (it felt. Indra, rather like that hand, liked that there was no hesitation, no wariness, liked the _feel_ -) “It is an honor to meet you Indra Ōtsutsuki, I would rather like to speak to you about your ideas for Ninshū” (the Sage twitched, shocked by someone talking to _Indra_ about the spiritual side of their powers maybe; as if Indra hadn’t expressed over and over his concern about the increasing weight put on Ninjutsu, as if all he cared about was the physical uses from chakra just because he had invented it).

Indra blew out a breath, trying to ignore his father’s disbelief and smile at the lovely man in front of him instead “I would be happy to speak to you about it” he agreed; and then the man went and _smiled,_ a sweet tiny curve to his lips that sent Indra physically back on his heels in shock (was this. was this what attraction was?). “As lovely as this is I rather think we should deal with this” Kaguya interrupted smoothly, waving a hand at the giant tree “before we do anything else, grandson would you be willing to light it up?” Indra grinned bloodily at his grandmother, seeing the same destructive glee in her eyes “It would truly be my pleasure” he purred, leaping back and off the tree, the others following – Tobirama offering Kaguya a solicitous hand that she took with a pleased smirk (if Indra had known she missed being treated as a princess so much he would have started doing that much sooner. And not just because it made his father so confused to see the powerful woman acting like she was a mortal, civilian, _human_ court lady).

Tobirama dropped down next to Indra, Kaguya on his other arm and looked at the older Ōtsutsuki with barely suppressed concern “You have the Sharingan?” he asked softly, Indra licked his lips and let the Sharingan activate; shocked when he saw deep sadness in the red eyes “I’m sorry” he murmured. Indra stared at him, shaken; no one had ever asked him how he gained the eyes, had assumed that he must have got it the way he gained all his skills and inventions and – _no one_ had asked, much less looked at him with understanding, knowing that the dōjutsu had come at a cost. Indra licked his lips, feeling off balance and yet – not unsafe (not like he had to claim his otherness first so that no one could use it against him, not feeling as though he had to be the first to see himself as apart before others had a chance ((he had stood apart since he was a child, treated as the prodigy heir to the Sage and therefor separate, raised to be the heir and then – well, never mind that))) “Thank you” Indra chocked out, looking in those astonishing _weary_ eyes. It was far harder than it should have been to tear himself away from Tobirama’s gaze and turn to the tree, calling on Amaterasu letting the black flames explode over the tree. (And, ok, maybe he overpowered it a bit, but, come on, how could he not with those pretty eyes on him?!)

The tree went up in an explosion of light that sent them all rocking back on their heels; “What are you doing?! You’re killing them!” Hagoromo yelled, turning on his son and Indra faltered, confused and uncertain but then Tobirama was between them, leveling the Sage with an unimpressed look. “See this is where it would have been good if you actually told your sons things instead of prioritizing your _mystery_ ” the albino took a deep breath and gathered himself, continuing in a more moderate voice “but it doesn’t matter anyway, those that were in the Infinite Tsukuyomi were already dead in every way that mattered, better to let them go and rest until they are read to rejoin the wheel than keep them here.” Indra stared, feeling a bit sick as his father took a threatening step towards Tobirama, fury on his face. “So you don’t care about the lives of all those people, you would just let them die because it was _faster_ without thinking about them or caring! _”_ Indra flinched at his father’s words, the echo of what his father had said to him when he named Asura his successor stinging more than he wanted to admit. Tobirama just looked at the Sage, so scornful that the silence just stretched and stretched, filled with the roar of flames; Hagoromo’s words just _hanging_ there until uncle and even Asura were looking discomfited (a touch on his elbow pulled his eyes to his grandmother as she curled a hand around his arm, she didn’t look _understanding_ but…something sort of like that).

"Yes,” Tobirama said eventually, words dropping into the silence with more weight than they should have “of course, prioritizing the living and those that look to you for safety is…uncaring. Because death is the _worst possible_ fate and clearly they should be forced to keep living as long as it takes for you to…pacify your conscious. Your grief is _so great_ , clearly you have never had to take a life to keep those you care for safe, I’m _terribly_ sorry honored sir, I hadn’t realized the world was so kind and free of strife in these days – I had assumed that you had worked so hard to farther your skill with chakra to protect those under you and make their lives better, I see now that it was for your own…enlightenment instead.” dear stars the silence was so frigid Indra expected to see _frost_ curling on his father’s robes as Hagoromo gaped at Tobirama. Uncle had a furrow between his brows and when Indra looked at his brother Asura looked rather perturbed; at least Kaguya was reacting the way Indra would expect, clearly hiding giggles in her sleeve-covered hand as she watched Tobirama face off with the Sage of Six Paths with his head held high and unyielding. “this is why he is my favorite” the woman whispered to Indra as the Ōtsutsuki tried to breathe around the tightness in his throat (it was just – _so nice_ to have someone speak up for him) “devotion and loyalty are etched in his bones and he will _never_ yield or relent when he stands for someone he cares about” startled Indra glanced at his grandmother, flushing a bit at her raised eyebrow (if Tobirama would already do this for him what would he do if Indra could win his loyalty? Wouldn’t _that_ be a thing to see).

Eventually Indra stepped forward- he had a feeling Tobirama would stand there and stare down Hagoromo until the end of time or the Sage broke if he wasn’t interrupted (was he even blinking? It was like watching one of those giant cats in snow country eye up food)- “Tobirama, I hope you won’t mind the assumption you will be returning Amravati with us?” the albino sent one last dismissive look over the Sage and turned to Indra, “Yes, it would be best if I was nearby to make sure my Lady Mother-“ (“ _sort of_ ” grandmother was giving him that look again) “-is fully cured and that she won’t go genocidal again” (Kaguya hummed in an agreeing sort of way, unconcerned) “and make sure that all traces of sickness are gone” Tobirama’s eyes settled on him and Indra swallowed tightly; somehow the man knew, somehow he knew about the fevers and persistent malaise that dogged Indra no matter what he did. It was _terrifying_ and Indra wanted to bristle and snarl and snap but Tobirama’s eyes were so sad and – and Indra didn’t want to run the risk of chasing off the man before he had a chance to capture that devotion for himself. So he bit back the instinctive anger and looked away, ignoring his father and uncle talking and trying to get his frustratingly sensitive temper under control (he never used to be like this, never used to be so easy to anger, he knew in the places he tried not to think about that it wasn’t…right, the way he was responding, not _him_ but he had no idea what to do about it or where to turn that wouldn’t betray him ((once he would have looked to Asura but-))).

(Asura looked at his brother’s tight face, Tobirama’s words echoing uncomfortably in his ears _“of course, prioritizing the living and those that look to you for safety is…uncaring.”_ Was that – it hadn’t mattered if Asura was gone for a year on their father’s mission, he was the second born and father and Indra were watching out for the clan but – would it…it would have been a very different thing to have the heir apparent gone for so long. Would have put the entire clan at risk. And Indra had been so mad about the people he brought back with him and Asura had though that was just heartless but, fuck now that he thought about it Indra hadn’t been mad about the _people_ just that they didn’t have enough food. He had had circles under his eyes for _months_ , and had been so stressed; what had it taken to make sure that Asura’s friends had enough to eat?)

* * *

Indra was baffled, he could admit that; grandmother seemed to have decided that what she really wanted was to sit and watch the fireworks and no one even cared because watching Tobirama oh so politely rip into Hagoromo was _riveting_. Not least because the beautiful man never let the Sage fully get his feet under him and was always very careful to be exactly as polite as he needed to be while subtly questioning just about _everything_ Hagoromo did from the seating (surely the matriarch should sit at the head? Oh, well, apologies for…assuming) to the food served (how surprising, he hadn't realized that the clan imported this kind of grain, it was... fascinating that they chose to do so rather than grow the kind of native to this area) to the Sage’s entire leadership style and the insinuated lack thereof. It was _breathtaking_ to watch and Indra was pretty sure he was getting a crash course on attraction – something he had never experienced before. Less amusing, if a bit bitterly satisfying was when Tobirama tore into Kanna; managing to express both his interest in hearing her opinions and his distaste for the manner she conveyed them. It had never been clearer that she came from a different social class and as much as Indra wanted to lounge back and enjoy seeing her lambasted when she had been so roundly dismissive of him especially after father named Asura his heir; something his brother’s wife had taken to mean she didn’t need to treat to Indra as the elder brother anymore (and her thoughts on his unmarried state didn’t help). Even so, seeing her eviscerated wasn’t…as nice as it could have been when it clearly made Asura uncomfortable, and when Tobirama had picked up on her lack of status and understanding of the manners needed for rank and was using it to prowl circles around her like a hungry cat; it was just such an unfair fight it was a bit uncomfortable.

“Tobirama” Indra leaned forward towards where Tobirama was watching Kanna with eyes that were a bit unnervingly predatory, something both deeply human and also wild tucked in his eyes that was making the Ōtsutsuki uncomfortable – though for different reasons. (Indra felt something liquid and hungry pool in him, _wanting_ in a way he had long since thought he wasn’t capable of.) (Asura was shaken, he thought his brother was ruthless but this…fuck, _this_ was what ruthless looked like, and it wasn’t wearing his brother’s face.) (Kaguya was _delighted,_ she wondered if her future-self had seen what Indra and her moon child could be, pretty and _bloody_ in all the best ways. If she could give them to each other- and who else deserved them?- that would be _true_ power, what was greater proof of power than creating something even _stronger_? Yes, she would see them together and if she did it right they would love her for it.) (Hagoromo wanted to kill this disrespectful _savage._ ) (Hamura was dealing with the sudden realization that when he broke his mother’s brainwashing all he had done was traded it for letting his brother decide what to do for both of them.)

At Indra’s call of his name Tobirama looked away from Kanna, dismissing her and putting his full attention on Indra who just – ( _aw, fuck_ ) all it took to call Tobirama from his ruthlessly hunt was one word from Indra? Fuck, talk about power trip. “Can I show you to some rooms? Surely your tasks can wait until after you’ve had some rest” Tobirama hesitated, something fragile in his eyes but he nodded, rising gracefully and saying polite goodnights. Grandmother moved closer, leaning into Indra and speaking behind her sleeve to him “He is hurting grandson, he is fierce and strong and fast, and he believes that is all he is; he will kill himself to be useful just to prove he has worth” Indra’s attention snapped to her, widening at the seriousness in her pale eyes “he will never care for himself, if you take him you will have to be willing to do so for him.” Indra looked at where Tobirama was looking at Kanna through half lidded eyes, polite as anything and yet…to have that loyalty, that devotion, all to himself and not just because Tobirama thought he had been wronged? (Indra could be a hungry, possessive man) Would he mind tending to this man? Running his hands over pale skin to feel how much the ribs stood out, dressing him in Indra’s clothing to insure he was comfortable, wearing him out with heat and desire at night to be sure he slept; no, Indra wouldn’t mind doing those things _in the slightest._ In fact now that he had had the thought he was resolved to have it as soon as possible; Tobirama would be _his_ and even better Indra would belong to Tobirama – belong in the safest place he could think of wrapped in all that endless devotion (Indra _wanted_ ).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write fast and don't edit much- this is a place for me to not have to worry too much about perfection and just enjoy it- so things can be mangled at times. (I've got a wonky brain that can't see symbols as well, so I frequently can't even see mistakes) That's not something that's likely to change any time soon, so if imperfect writing puts you off this probably isn't for you


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't going to go this way and then Indra got thirsty

Indra looked at Tobirama, jaw tight and defensive, “You want me to let my _brother_ be present when you heal – you think that you have the _right_ -“ he hissed the word derisively, fear and stress making him mean, and walls snapped up behind Tobirama’s eyes impossibly fast; the playful, clever, kind, man Indra had grown to know in the month he had lived with them vanishing faster than thought behind an icy empty façade, cold and sharp as a blade. “Of course not Ōtsutsuki-sama” he murmured, pulling back; body language pulling tight and still, waiting (waiting for what? waiting…no, there no – but, waiting to be _struck?_ ) “my mistake, if you wish to be healed in privacy we will of course do so.” his lovely red eyes lowered, hidden by snowy lashes, all traces of opinion wiped away, deferring to Indra and somehow seeming less Indra’s than he had ever been. Everything in Indra _twisted_ and he felt as though he had been doused in icy water, “I – No – Tobira-“ he stuttered (a first for that) standing and reaching out even as the albino bowed shallowly “I will prepare then, if it suits you I will start tonight after dinner, it may take some days so it would be best to start soon so I do not tax your generosity over long“ he murmured, voice remote.

Indra twitched, wanting to dive for the man and clutch at him at even the _thought_ of Tobirama- Tobirama with whom he _belonged_ \- leaving and the shock of the strong emotions froze him just long enough for Tobirama to turn and leave. Indra stared after him, feeling caught in a loop and _horrible_ ; some part of him, the one that was always angry, that wanted to _show_ his father that it wasn’t his fault, that he was good enough, that he wasn’t a waste, that it was possible to think differently and not be _wrong_ , the part that snarled that if all he was was Ninjutsu to them then he would _be_ Ninjutsu – he would make it _better –_ that part. That mean ugly part that turned his temper up to eleven and made his pride brittle and just, he hadn’t been like this. Once he wouldn’t have done this – or at least wouldn’t have let Tobirama _leave_ , would have stopped him and told him that Tobirama had every right, all the rights, the _only_ right, to tell Indra _anything_. To suggest anything. That Indra was _his_. instead he had let Tobirama leave thinking Indra had repudiated him; and Indra knew the other man well enough by now to know how ugly and cruel that would turn in Tobirama’s head, how the perceived rejection would be another reason for the man he – he _loved_ , to think himself _less_.

And yet he couldn’t seem to go after the albino, couldn’t seem to force himself to follow and hold and promise and – maybe that’s why he couldn’t, because he couldn’t promise yet, not when his temper was so…unstable. Well, the only way to fix that was to make it so he could promise, and for that Indra needed Tobirama’s healing and if he thought Asura would help with the healing the Asura would be there; anything to speed it up to when Indra could promise. (In the meantime maybe he would go visit his grandmother, she might be a big part of why he was sick, but Indra had long reconciled with the fact that she would never see the world the way humans did, her morals and ethics and ability to see things other than power fundamentally different because she _wasn’t human_. For now he needed someone to keep an eye on Tobirama and make sure he didn’t leave until Indra could get his shit together and she could do that.) (With any luck this would be done before Hagoromo returned from his most recent pilgrimage, Indra had no intreating in hearing what his father thought of this; on about a dozen different levels.)

* * *

(Asura looked at his brother, taking in the tightness and oddly…twitchy muscles; as if he was fighting the argue to run or fight or something “Tobirama can heal me but he thinks it would be good for you to be there and I – I am not…” Asura shivered at the obvious struggle his proud brother was having getting the words out “my temper is…uncertain, I do not trust – I may act and speak in ways I do not mean- again-“ suddenly something shifted and Indra looked at his brother with aching misery “I must do this and Tobirama says I do not need to do it alone” he said. Asura’s heart _twisted,_ suddenly remined of when they were small and Indra struggled under the weight of the expectations, of it always being assumed that he didn’t need help because he was so strong, of _where_ exactly his brother had learned his independence and unwillingness to ask for help. “Brother, I have not been the brother I should have been in recent years, let me fix that now” Asura said, reaching out slowly to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder, feeling the older man shivering under his touch and wishing he hadn’t let moral philosophizing distract him from what mattered.

There was clearly strain between Tobirama and Indra and the older brother’s eyes followed Tobirama with a hunger that had unnerved Asura- the albino just unnerved Asura, he could admit that- and now just made him feel…sad. Sad that Indra couldn’t make whatever was wrong right no matter how much he clearly wanted to, sad that Tobirama didn’t seem to see it – and why was it only _now_ Asura was looking enough to see the pain in the other man? Indra sat on the bed in a loose yukata, looking up at Tobirama with a look so close to _worshipful_ it made Asura blush; not that the other man noticed, Tobirama’s eyes were closed and he was clearly concentrating on something as he held his hands out, fingers just over Indra’s temples almost but not quite touching skin. Then the chakra connected, and it was – a horror show. Just. Asura could never really explain later what he saw but it was – that had been in his brother’s _head_ , all that horror and – much of it was Indra’s but twisted, as if someone had taken pain and made it – _wrong_. just. that had been in his brother’s head and Asura _hadn’t noticed_.

It continued until Tobirama was pale and weak and sweating and Indra was running a fever and shaking and Asura had to tend both of them- at his brother’s request he always took Tobirama back to his room, Indra wanted nothing more than to have the albino sleeping next to him but had confided in Asura that he didn’t trust himself not to hurt Tobirama again. They had been healing Indra for a week when Hamura noticed and Asura asked if he could be present; Indra had shrugged, too tired and hurting to care, so their uncle was present the next night and he was grave and concerned after (Asura could see he was shaken). Asura had been there when Hamura went to confront grandmother about it, knowing that a construct of hers had been involved; she had explained what Zetsu was and how it was made and that Tobirama had _dealt_ with it. When Hamura snarled out the question about whether she knew what she was putting in her _grandson’s_ head she had just looked sad; explaining that no, she hadn’t known, Ōtsutsuki weren’t capable of suffering the way humans were – it would have been cruel to another Ōtsutsuki but not – not _this._ “Suffering, the Truth of the Heart of Humanity, the Understanding my child gave me: nothing will ever be stronger or more terrible than love with nowhere to go.” She had said and Asura, just, didn’t want to think about that yet.)

* * *

Indra could feel it, how much cleaner his head was, how the ugliness was being debrided away, how close he was to being good enough that he could trust himself with Tobirama; soon he could try again, in three nights he would be well (as well as he would get, Tobirama couldn’t do anything about the scar this was going to leave on his mind) and then he could ask his Tobirama to stay. Unfortunately Tobirama had already told him that the last few nights would be the worst and Indra was concerned about what that meant and what toll it might take; already Tobirama looked worn and pale, thin and distracted and Indra’s fantasies of late mostly revolved around feeding Tobirama and curling around him until he _slept_. Racy stuff. Indra snuck a look at the albino down the table, wishing his father was going to take just a little longer to come back; he would be back tomorrow and if he had waited two days he would never have to run any risk of him finding out - the _last_ thing he wanted was his father seeing inside his head and using it as another reason Indra wasn’t good enough. Tobirama had been right about Asura, Indra could admit that, but there was no way father knowing would go well; it had been _awkward_ with Asura, and painful to be seen like that by the bother that had supplanted him but to Indra’s surprise rather than think less of him for seeing his weakness Asura had instead started making an effort again. Being present when they talked and _listening,_ and this was the best their relationship had been in years – plus now that he was listening Indra was no longer terrified of his brother’s ideals killing their clan when he gave food to everyone and sundry which was a nice change.

Stillness at the end of the table caught Indra’s attention and he looked at where his grandmother was sitting, chopsticks resting in her bowl as she examined Tobirama through narrowed eyes. Indra frowned as looked between them, sucking in a sharp breath when she active the Byakugan sight, what was she – she gasped and shot to her feet, eyes still fixed on a startled Tobirama “What is _wrong_ with you!?” Kaguya snarled and the albino looked away, studiously staring at the wall. Indra felt something cold slither down his spine “Grandmother?” he asked softly, “You’re _dying_ ” she hissed at Tobirama, who continued to ignore her as the world spun around Indra, “You’re dying?” he whispered, his voice coming out choked and devastated. Tobirama looked at him, apparently surprised and suddenly uncertain “I – what I am doing, it is…draining” he said slowly; Indra slammed down a hand “Then why aren’t we going slower?!” he snapped, furious. Tobirama just looked at him and raised one slender brow and looked down at the table, the table that was now cracked by Indra’s temper “oh” he whispered, feeling rather shaky “The longer we take the more damage it does, if I could have I would have done it all the first night rather than draw it out.” Tobirama said quietly.

“You knew?” Asura asked into the silence, Indra feeling shocky and afraid as Tobirama nodded, “It isn’t such a big thing, once Indra is well I will have outlived my usefulness, it makes sense” Tobirama said off hand and unconcerned – as uncaring of his life as Kaguya had once warned Indra he could be. “Grandmother, surely there is _something_ -“ Asura’s eyes were desperate on her as she slowly shook her head, “No, I can’t give him energy, it wouldn’t be human and might encourage growth or strengthen the sickness rather than help” she murmured. Tobirama nodded calmly and silence sat heavy on the table, Indra shoving himself deep into the back of his head where everything seemed to happen a long way away; he couldn’t risk another outburst like that, not now, not when –

(Standing just outside the door Hagoromo stared sightlessly at the floor; Indra was sick? _Badly?_ And the – the – _he_ was killing himself to save Indra? He was so dismissive of his own life, so willing to use it like any resorse, if he held life in little regard in others it wasn’t because he thought he was _better,_ not when he seemed to think he was _disposable_ and, “Indra loves him” Hagoromo twitched but didn’t react to his brother’s words “if he dies Indra will too. If you ever loved you son you will _save_ this man” Hagoromo opened his mouth, a blustering response on his lips “he will never ask you, you know that. When has he _ever_ asked for anything other than what he needed to be a leader? And fulfill what was expected of him” Hagoromo swallowed, no Indra wouldn’t ask – it wouldn’t occur to him that Hagoromo would help.)

* * *

Indra looked at Tobirama, trying to drink him in and feel nothing at the same time as he had been ever since he found out – he had followed Tobirama around in the last days and it had been painfully easy, the albino clearly tired and spending rather a lot of time just sitting in the garden while Indra watched him. Now he was leaning over Indra, hands filled with chakra as he set to work – Indra wanted to look away, to close his eyes and send himself to a safe place in his head as he had done every other night but if he did that he would miss what little time he had left with Tobirama living and breathing and just - Indra couldn’t risk that. Not even as the world bled and twisted and he ignored all of it, eyes fastened on Tobirama’s face as blood started to drip out of the albino’s nose; he didn’t even notice when his eyes changed and the Mangekyō Sharingan appeared, he didn’t care.

(Hagoromo watched the ruination of his oldest son with horror; the bleeding pain- how had he never known some of this happened?- and mortality, the truth of the heart spilling over the floor in rivers of liquid-slick memories. He saw how Indra’s eyes changed and he made a choice; he would never like Tobirama, would never agree with him would never – but he didn’t have to, it was Indra’s heart dying in there and, well, maybe Tobirama had a point about there being other paths than his.)

Indra didn’t notice when his father put a hand on Tobirama’s shoulder and the Six Paths flared to life or even when the Sage started dumping chakra into the albino (Tobirama didn’t need Hagoromo’s help to save Indra, but it would have left him with too little to go on – acceptable if he wasn’t - if he didn’t have a place here) it wasn’t gentle but because of the Paths it wasn’t the death sentence that it would have been from any of the other Ōtsutsuki. Tobirama’s eyes flew open in shock and the seal markings woke under his skin where they had slept quiescent since he came back and burned off the last celestial power; red flowed under his skin and his eyes light with power and it was only then that Indra noticed and looked past his love at his father. Their eyes met and for the first time in a long time Indra didn’t see disapproval (disapproval he had no idea how to fix, or even how he had caused, he saw no flaws in his actions he could correct without risking lives that relied on him) just something steady like a grudging promise that he wouldn’t let Tobirama die; deep down some part of Indra that would always be a little boy looking up at his powerful father relaxed (father would make things right).

And when the light faded and the healing was done and the seals faded Tobirama was alive and strong and _alive_ (Indra had no idea what anyone else was doing, or when they left- quickly after Asura saw his brother’s face- his focus narrowing to a single point). Indra lunged, pinning Tobirama to the closed door and edging close as he dared until things were cleared up, speaking of “Let me make some things clear; you have every right to tell me to bring my brother, you just have every right, every right and _anything_ else you want. I want to give myself to you, I want to be _yours_. What I said was _dumb_ and I didn’t mean it and the only reason I didn’t stop you and explain right then was that I was afraid I would make it worse; that’s the only reason I waited too, I wanted to be able to promise you _everything_ and I couldn’t do that when I had so little control over emotions. Now that I’m not a ticking bomb I want – I want _you_ ; I want to be yours and possess you and take care of you, please, _let me_ ”.

Indra’s voice cracked on the last words and he dropped his head, not able to keep looking; he missed the shock turning into understanding and then going soft and wondering on Tobirama’s face, he missed the moment that Tobirama realized he meant it, missed the moment affection and wonder caught flame (he really regretted missing that later). Fingers under Indra’s chin tipped it up and he got a quick look at heavy lidded red eyes before Tobirama ducked close and kissed him, lingering and hungrier the more Indra pinned him to the door. Tobirama hooked a leg around Indra’s waist, leg bare under the robe as he slid it through the slit at the front (Kaguya had gotten clothes made for him but they still looked mostly like her robes except with blue worked in; Tobirama didn't actually mind when it came down to it) which Indra discovered when he dropped a hand and felt warm skin, crossed here and there with thin scars but smooth and warm and strong and _fuck_. Indra pulled back swearing and trying to catch his breath with heat like he had been doused in alcohol and set on fire spreading anywhere they were touching; apparently Tobirama didn’t agree with the idea of composure or control as he shifted his other leg out of the robe and hooked it around Indra’s waist; clamping down and arching into the wall at the sudden pressure while Indra struggled with the dizzying sight of Tobirama like _this._ For _him._

His struggle that failed miserably when Tobirama wound a hand in his hair and with that and the strong thighs around Indra’s waist dragged the other man back into a hot kiss, more than willing to work his hips in lazy rolls while Indra skated a hand up his leg. Distantly Indra thought that he had really intended to do this differently, not against the door for one, and _definitely_ with less clothes; on the other hand if this was what Tobirama wanted- and the way he was gasping as Indra mouthed at his neck made the Ōtsutsuki fairly sure Tobirama was getting what he wanted, that and the fact that Indra may have been on top, but he was _not_ the one running this show (and that was. so. fucking. Hot.). Tobirama gasped, the arm around Indra’s shoulders flexing as he used it to get better leverage, the other hand braced back against the wall above his head ( _oooooohhhhh fuuuuuuckkk_ ) and Indra was _very_ glad that he was rather stronger than humans normally were as it allowed him to catch that hand on the wall and thread their fingers together to Tobirama’s clear approval as he moaned hungrily. Indra snarled, pleasure and desire heady in him when his shifted the hand on Tobirama’s leg up and _pressed_ , Tobirama gasped and panted out “ _Mine”_ in a possessive voice that sent Indra’s head spinning as he answered “ _Yours – aha – always yours!”_ and discovered bliss.

(A few rooms away Asura dropped his head in his hands, wishing his brother had at least moved away from the door and trying to ignore Kaguya’s interested gaze. He just. couldn’t deal with that right now.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do I always hurt Tobirama?! 
> 
> also, later Tobirama wants the bijuu and figures out how to make them without sealing Kaguya's power because I need baby!Kurama to still exist

**Author's Note:**

> So, several things I need to rant about.  
> 1\. no one seems to think about how Indra got the Sharingan to begin with. but he got it and we KNOW from canon that is never pretty, so what the fuck!?  
> 2\. he was punished for the way he did that stupid task?!  
> 2.A why is it his fault that they fucked shit up after he left to GO BACK TO HIS CLAN WHO NEEDED HIM  
> 2.B and then Asura brings back more mouths to feed and everything is all, "look how moral he is" fuck that! Morals don't feed people! You can't eat morals and morals don't defend against blades and fire, morals just burn - ask Joan of Ark  
> 3\. he got it in his head he had to do everything himself - of fucking course he did! that was how he was raised!  
> 4\. it wasn't his fault people were dicks with his inventions! he created an astonishing new kind of chakra use It's not his fault if people decided they cared more about having comfortable lives than spiritual enlightenment  
> 5\. Nor is it necessarily incorrect for people to prioritize safety above spiritual enlightenment and for him to essentially decide that that was necessary after he had basically been kicked out of his clan and, you know, safety
> 
>   
> also, God Tree was a tree of knowledge story - which are big in myths and I did not see that coming (though I probably should have) (and now I have this headcanon theory about chakra and why some people can use it in some can't and stuff that I have to find way to use at some point...)


End file.
